Congratulations! You’re the parent of a new graduate. You’ve watched them accept that all-important piece of paper that is often a rite of passage into adulthood.
Now what?
With the rising cost of living, more parents than ever are welcoming their kids home after they graduate. While this isn’t unusual, it is important that both you and your student are on the same page when they hit the door.
While the point of moving back home is – hopefully – to save money and be able to leave the nest at some point, it’s important that your child has some financial responsibility. Maybe it’s paying for their phone or planning and making a family meal once a week. These guidelines can not only help you help THEM budget and get ready for the real world, they can also instill a sense of pride in your student who might be embarrassed that they’ve had to come back home.
That’s up to you. However, as a financial advisor, I think it’s important that your kid has some skin in the game. Even if it’s a small amount that you end up depositing in a savings account for your child, it gets them in the rhythm of paying that monthly bill.
Yes, I know this is a sensitive subject, but it’s important that the lines of communication are open right from the start. Chances are, your kid wants to get out on their own as soon as possible, but it’s always possible that this could stretch out longer than you’re comfortable with. Sit down and talk to your graduate about your expectations regarding how long they will be staying. Make it clear that you understand that this could change based on the job market but be upfront about the fact that there is a time limit.
This is also a good time to discuss your child’s goal when it comes to saving. Are they trying to save enough to move in with a roommate? Are they working toward saving for a down payment on a home? It’s important for you to know what they’re working toward; you can help encourage them and you’ll also probably be less frustrated knowing there’s a plan.
Nothing can derail a retirement like supporting an adult child.
From buying groceries to paying for their cell phone plan or covering health and auto insurance, 45% of parents with a child age 18 or over provide them with at least some financial support, according to a recent report by Savings.com.
On average, these parents are spending more than $1,400 a month helping their adult children make ends meet, the report found. (CNBC)
The little things you do to help your child could mean you’re putting less into your retirement accounts – and chances are you’re closer to retirement now than not. This is the time when you should be contributing the most to your retirement accounts, so pulling money away from that initiative isn't helping you in the long run.
Your kid needs to understand that this is a real problem that could affect them in the future – because you’ll have to financially depend on them as you age.
They’ve had a taste of freedom and you’ve adjusted to living without them for 4 years. Now you’re back in each other’s space.
For tips on navigating this new relationship, check out Moving Back Home After College: Tips to Make the Best of It.
Let’s face it – when we’re looking for a financial advisor, we’re often feeling scared and overwhelmed. We’re looking for someone to answer our questions without making us feel ashamed or talking over our heads. In other words…this process is sometimes not easy.
Now, imagine yourself sitting with a financial advisor, wondering if they’re going to be friendly. Wondering if they’re going to judge you. Wondering if they’re an ally.
When I have a potential client in the LGBTQ+ community come into my office, they might not automatically know that I am an ally until we start speaking. I’m hopeful that they immediately understand that I am, but when I put myself in their shoes – walking into a stranger’s office not knowing if they will be welcome – it makes me cringe. No one should be put in that position.
If you’ve been thinking that it’s time to talk to a financial professional, but you’re not sure where to start to find a trusted resource, here are some ideas:
One of the best ways to find an LGBTQ+ friendly financial advisor is by asking for referrals from trusted sources. This can include friends and family who are part of the community, local LGBTQ+ organizations, or online forums. By seeking referrals, you not only get first-hand accounts of positive experiences, but you also get a sense of their process and whether or not they are a good fit for you.
There are several websites you can visit that will allow you to specifically search for LGBTQ+ friendly financial advisors. Here are a few to get you started:
Once you've found a few potential advisors, it's time to start asking the right questions. This includes asking about their experience working with LGBTQ+ clients, their understanding of queer-specific financial needs, and their approach to investing. It's also essential to ask about their values and whether they support LGBTQ+ rights and causes. A competent and understanding financial advisor will have no problem answering these questions confidently and transparently.
When you’re looking for a financial professional…it’s personal. This is someone you should feel comfortable speaking with about most areas of your life, especially as they relate to your finances. This is not someone you should hesitate to call when something happens. This is someone you should know is in your corner to help support you through life’s changes.
If you have any questions about how I work with queer clients and would like to know more about my process, I would love to have that conversation with you! CLICK HERE to schedule an appointment.
I live in the beautiful state of Colorado. We experience glorious snow for skiing in the winter, the flowers bloom in the spring, the leaves change in the fall…and the fires happen in the summer (or even during a dry winter as we experienced in 2021).
“…while many residents may have expected safety in urban areas, fire experts have warned wildfire risk isn't limited to mountain areas. In 2017, state foresters estimated nearly 3 million Coloradans lived in fire-prone areas, which scientists refer to as the wildland-urban interface, known as the WUI. That’s about half the state’s population.” (CPR)
Colorado isn’t the only state that has to deal with the threat of forest and brush fires. That’s why it’s important to have a plan in place to keep your loved ones and your important documents safe.
REMEMBER THE SIX “P’S” (readyforwildfire.org)
Your advisor might also have copies of the following information (if they have asked for it):
If your financial advisor does not have copies of these, your tax preparer or estate planning attorney may have copies. It is important that you ask them if they retain copies of these documents and for how long they keep them.
I hope you have a safe, fun, and smoke-free summer. But get your plan in place just in case!
We’re moving into vacation time when many of us start slowing down and enjoying the summer months. Couple that with people exploring options that allow them to work from anywhere and that means people might be considering purchasing a vacation home.
My parents were in the same boat 30 years ago as they looked for ways escape winters in Chicago. Eventually, after visiting different areas, they decided that St. Thomas was the right fit for them. They loved to swim and snorkel, and the weather and water is always warm enough to do so. It is also a United States territory which makes traveling and living there easy.
While my parents knew they wanted to be regular “snowbirders” in St. Thomas, they also hesitated to purchase a second home. Once they retired and were able to spend multiple weeks at a time at the beach, they opted to rent a condo.
Even though they have spent decades going to the same place, they were never interested in buying a vacation home in St. Thomas. The annual hurricane insurance alone is about what they spent renting. Beyond that, they have no worries about finding renters when they were not using it, dealing with the repairs, and many other headaches that come with owning property.
Less important, but part of the equation for my parents at least: the family from whom they have been renting for the last 20 years have not raised the rental rates; my parents were guaranteed income for them, and they treated the home like their own.
For example, one time the refrigerator broke during their stay, and they called the owners in New York. The owners asked if my parents could go buy a new one and they would pay them back. My parents said “Sure!” and took care of it. Having that relationship is a win for everyone.
How we want to spend our leisure time becomes more and more important as we age and start thinking about retirement.
When we work on a financial plan, many of my clients have purchasing a vacation home on their “wishes” portion and that’s great! For some people it’s a good fit. But I always like to make sure my clients know their options. I want their retirement to be as “headache-free” as possible – so that might mean considering renting rather than purchasing a second home.
One of the perks of my mom spending every January thru March in St. Thomas is joining her there! Family and friends visit when they can and I’m no different. This March I was able to work from her condo for 10 days and sneak in time to snorkel each day.
The best part? I was there at the end of my mom’s trip and when we left, all we needed to do was pack. We didn’t need to clean out the fridge, change the sheets, or anything.
We just packed our bags and headed home.
The opinions voiced in this material are for general information only and are not intended to provide specific advice or recommendations for any individual.
I’m just going to say it. Having discussions about money and aging with parents who are growing older…well….
It stinks.
It’s so uncomfortable, isn’t it? One minute they’re taking care of us and the next we’re thinking about when we might need to take care of them.
But just like they told us to eat our vegetables when we were little, this is something we might need to take control of at some point.
There are things you need to discuss that are more day-to-day issues and some that will affect long-term planning.
Before we get into more long-term planning and decision-making, let’s make sure to stay organized.
Knowing this will make your life a lot easier should the unthinkable happen; you don’t want to be searching for essential documents should your parent fall ill or pass away.
Again, I know you want to do this about as much as you want to scrub the grout in your bathroom, but unfortunately, it needs to happen. And if you’re looking at these topics and wishing you had someone to help guide the conversation, then let’s talk. Making an appointment with an impartial third party could not only make sure that you get it done (we’re more likely to do something when it’s on the calendar), it might help take some of the stress out of what could be an emotional situation.
