For many couples, choosing a financial advisor is a joint decision, and that makes sense; you’re planning for a shared future, making decisions together, and trusting someone with some of the biggest goals of your lives.
But what happens when one partner says, “I’d really like to work with a woman.”
The truth is, financial advice is still a male-dominated industry. According to a recent FINTRX report, out of “more than 500,000 registered reps at wealth management firms, women represent 28% of the reps compared with 72% for men.” Not only that, but among married couples, the primary advisor relationship has traditionally tended to be with the male spouse.
But things are changing. Allianz reports that 49% of women now consider themselves the Chief Financial Officer of their households – up from 41% in 2021. And that means that women might want to see another woman sitting across the desk from them.
While the choice to seek out a female financial advisor isn’t necessarily “anti-man,” it does speak to the differences that men and women have felt when it comes to money: they’ve had different career experiences, different expectations placed on them, different conversations about money growing up, and different realities when it comes to caregiving, retirement, and longevity.
Those incidents naturally shape the way financial conversations unfold and can create different kinds of understanding.
It’s About Feeling Seen
A lot of women can think back to times when they felt overlooked in financial conversations, like when questions were directed to their spouse, assumptions were made about who handled the money, or they left meetings feeling more like they were just sitting in rather than actually making decisions. It doesn’t happen in every situation, but it happens often enough that many women start wanting something different.
However, men don’t often experience the reverse. Men have rarely had to wonder whether they’ll be understood or taken seriously in financial conversations. For most of their lives, they’ve likely seen people who look like them in positions of financial authority, and they’ve been conditioned to expect that their questions, opinions, and decisions will be respected without hesitation. They may not have experienced moments where their input was overlooked, redirected to someone else, or subtly minimized.
Because of that, it can be difficult to fully grasp what it feels like to enter a financial discussion already wondering whether you’ll need to prove your credibility or assert your voice just to be included.
When someone is choosing to find a female advisor, they’re often looking for someone who instinctively understands concerns like:
- Career breaks for caregiving
- Balancing aging parents and adult children
- Navigating divorce or widowhood
- Building confidence after years of letting someone else handle the finances
- Planning for longer life expectancy
- Managing the emotional side of money alongside the numbers
Remember, these aren’t “women’s issues.” They’re life experiences that influence financial planning.
How to Explain It to Your Partner
If you’re struggling to find the words, you might say something like:
“I want to work with someone who helps me feel comfortable asking questions, sharing concerns, and really being part of the conversation. It’s important to me that we both feel included and understood, and I think this could help me show up more in our financial planning.”
Framing it this way keeps the focus on what you’re looking for in the relationship, rather than what you’re trying to avoid. It shifts the conversation toward shared goals and mutual understanding, making it easier for your partner to see that this is about creating a more comfortable and collaborative experience for both of you, not about rejecting any particular group or perspective.
In the end, the goal is not to replace one bias with another. It is to choose an advisor who helps both partners feel respected, informed, and included. Whether it’s a man or a woman, your choice should come down to things like personality, communication style, or a particular area of expertise.
But women shouldn’t feel guilty for recognizing that representation matters. Feeling comfortable enough to ask questions, share concerns, and fully participate in financial decisions isn’t a luxury. It’s an important part of making better decisions together.
If you’re looking for a collaborative planning relationship where you and your partner both feel seen and heard, I’d love to help. CLICK HERE to schedule an appointment, and let’s talk about what matters most to you.
Information presented is for educational purposes only and does not intend to make an offer or solicitation for the sale or purchase of any securities. Maia Wealth’s website and its associated links offer news, commentary, and generalized research, not personalized investment advice. Nothing on this website should be interpreted to state or imply that past performance is an indication of future performance. All investments involve risk and unless otherwise stated, are not guaranteed. Be sure to consult with a tax professional before implementing any investment strategy. Investment Advisory Services offered through Maia Wealth, a Registered Investment Advisor with the U.S. Securities & Exchange Commission. Registration does not imply a certain level of skill or training.
