Money is one of the biggest topics in any marriage, and later in life, financial habits are already well established. For women over 50, financial independence is often a top priority. After decades of managing your own money, the idea of merging finances with a new spouse can be both exciting and nerve-wracking.
Should you combine finances, keep things separate, or do a mix of both?
Why Some Couples Keep Their Finances Separate
At this stage in life, you’ve worked hard for your financial independence, and the thought of handing over control of your bank account might make you clutch your purse a little tighter. Keeping finances separate means you maintain autonomy over your spending, investments, and savings. And let’s face it – if you’ve been handling your own money for decades, you probably don’t need a joint account to remember to pay the electric bill.
Another good reason to keep things separate? Nearly one-third of married couples argue about money, with spending habits being a major source of tension. Keeping finances separate can help avoid those “you spent how much on that?” conversations, especially if you and your new spouse have different ideas about what constitutes a necessary expense.
Separate finances can also be a smart move if you have children from a previous marriage; it ensures that your hard-earned assets go to your heirs as intended. Plus, if your new spouse carries significant debt, maintaining financial separation can protect you from being legally responsible for their financial baggage. Because let’s be honest – love is great but so is keeping your credit score intact.
The Perks of Combining Finances
On the flip side, merging finances with your spouse can create a sense of unity and shared responsibility. In fact, a study from Cornell University found that couples who combine finances report higher relationship satisfaction and stability. Money is a big part of life, and when couples work together financially, it can strengthen their partnership.
Combining finances also simplifies bill payments and long-term planning. Instead of Venmo-ing each other for half the mortgage or keeping a spreadsheet of who paid for what, a shared account makes everyday expenses easier to manage. Plus, if one spouse becomes ill or passes away, joint accounts ensure the surviving partner has immediate access to funds, which can be a huge relief during a difficult time.
For some couples, merging finances also means setting shared financial goals, whether that’s planning for travel, buying a second home, or investing in a comfortable retirement. Having everything in one place can make saving and budgeting more streamlined – because let’s be honest, at this stage in life, who wants to waste time tracking multiple accounts?
Questions to Prompt a Conversation
So, should you merge? Keep things separate? Try a hybrid approach? Here are some questions to help you get the conversation started:
What are our financial goals as a couple?
Are we saving for a home, traveling, retiring early, or something else? Understanding shared and individual goals can help determine the best approach to managing money.
How do we each feel about financial independence?
Does one of us value having separate accounts for personal spending, or are we both comfortable with full financial transparency?
What are our income levels and spending habits?
Do we have similar income levels, or is there a large gap? Does one of us spend freely while the other prefers to save? Being aware of differences can prevent conflicts.
Do either of us have significant debt?
If one partner has student loans, credit card debt, or other financial obligations, should that responsibility remain separate, or should we tackle it together?
How will we handle household expenses?
Will we split everything 50/50, contribute based on income percentages, or use another method?
What are our expectations for large purchases?
If we want to buy a car, remodel a house, or make another big financial decision, will it require mutual agreement? Will we contribute equally?
How do we feel about financial transparency?
Should we have access to each other’s bank accounts, or would we prefer some level of financial privacy?
How will we plan for retirement?
Are we contributing to retirement accounts separately, or will we create a joint retirement strategy? If one partner retires earlier than the other, how will that impact financial decisions?
What happens if one of us becomes ill or passes away?
Do we need joint accounts to ensure financial access in case of an emergency? Have we updated beneficiaries and estate planning documents?
How often should we review our financial plan?
Will we have regular check-ins about finances? Should we reassess whether our system (separate, joint, or hybrid) is working for us over time?
Finding the Right Balance
Regardless of how you choose to manage money, open communication is key. Sit down and talk about your financial goals, spending habits, and expectations before getting married. It might also be helpful to bring in a third party to help navigate these conversations – and that’s where a financial planner can help.
In the last blog in this series, we’re tackling family dynamics and handling money when there are grown children involved. Yes, we’re having ALL of the uncomfortable conversations!
The opinions voiced in this material are for general information only and are not intended to provide specific advice or recommendations for any individual. This information is not intended to be a substitute for specific individualized tax or legal advice. We suggest that you discuss your specific situation with a qualified tax or legal advisor.
