Let’s talk about that little pit in your stomach when a bill shows up, a major expense hits your inbox, or someone mentions “market volatility.” You’re likely experiencing financial stress, something that impacts 65% of U.S. adults.
Of course, there are obvious signs that money is making you anxious: lying awake at night thinking about your bank account or knowing you’ll likely have a painful bill come tax time. But financial stress can show up in other, more subtle ways as well.
You feel guilty spending, even on things you need.
Financial stress doesn’t just show up when the money’s not there – it creeps in even when it is, whispering, “Are you sure you should buy that?” Especially for women who were raised to be self-sufficient, frugal, and endlessly grateful, it can feel downright indulgent to buy things you require to function.
So you keep limping along with a glitchy laptop. You delay going to the doctor because the co-pay feels “extra.” You keep wearing worn-out shoes that hurt your back. You tell yourself you’ll deal with it later because it feels selfish to spend on yourself, even when it’s necessary.
You’re stuck in perfection paralysis.
You’ve read the blogs. You’ve downloaded the apps. You’ve got a spreadsheet and a color-coded notebook labeled “Financial Plan (Final, FINAL).” You want the exact right budget app, the perfect investment account with low fees and high returns, and a dream savings strategy.
But because it’s not quite right yet – because you’re not 100% sure you’re making the “best” move – you do nothing.
Here’s the catch: trying to make perfect financial decisions often leads to no financial decisions. And spoiler alert: no plan is way more expensive than an imperfect one.
You’re ghosting your financial advisor.
You know she’s in your corner. You know she can help. But the idea of opening up about your spending, your credit card balance, or the fact that you still haven’t rolled over that 401(k) from two jobs ago? Yeah. It feels overwhelming.
You tell yourself, “I’ll reach out when I have it together.”
Newsflash: That’s literally her job. Helping you when things feel messy, unclear, or emotionally charged is part of the gig. She’s not judging you – she’s waiting for you to stop ghosting and let her tag in.
Let’s Fix It
Now, let’s talk about steps you can take to break out of this stressful pattern. At our age, we need our sleep, so there’s no point in staying awake thinking about all of this.
Guilt: A real financial plan accounts for your actual life, including health care, tech updates, therapy, childcare, and yes, the occasional upgraded pillow if it means you sleep better. A good advisor will help you build a spending plan where needs come first, and guilt isn’t a factor.
Paralysis: Done is better than perfect. Financial planning isn’t a one-shot deal – it’s a living, breathing thing that evolves with you. Your financial advisor isn’t looking for you to show up with all the answers. She just wants you to show up. Let her help you get unstuck and started.
Ghosting: Take one small step. Send the email. Schedule the meeting. Bring snacks if it helps. (I, for one, would love it if a client showed up with snacks. I’m gluten-free, FYI.)
If you’re still trying to dismiss this like money stress is no big deal, don’t. Fifty-one percent of women say money has a negative effect on their mental health, and that type of long-term stress can take a serious physical toll on anyone.
So, before you tell yourself that you’ll contact your financial advisor tomorrow (or next week or next month), do your heart, blood pressure, and hormone levels and make that appointment.
Don’t forget the snacks.
